the boy

apollo learned how to alter his voice from normal baby gaga to baby scream. he can also stand by himself. ya'll are missin' out on the fun here in screaming stand land, mt.

ho hum hum-bug day

today was extra wrotten. like a piece of fruit that you have forgotten in your lunch sack. i had some of the worst, most, unfriendliest customers today. someone actually yelled at me. lucky me. and then on my last break i go to have a chat with my boss. it was short. like my career at target. a lunch sack you have forgotten you own due to the length of time between usages. we waited an hour tonight for a booth at our favorite pizza joint. apollo proceeded to cry or fuss the entire meal. much like he cried/fussed most of the previous night leading to this gloomy day. i'm tired (thank you apollo), ill (thank you sinuses), and depressed (thank you lack-of-day-light). i wish it was yesterday, which was a pretty wonderful day. but it's not. and i can't go back. this lunch sack is found after falling out of a high shelf in a closet onto your shoulders, leaving behind a moldy smelly residue on your freshly washed shirt. when you bend down to pick up the remains of "squished fruit and a lunch sack," you see that it is in fact your favorite piece of fruit that you would very much like to enjoy right now. instead, you drop it in the garbage can. along with the lunch sack. some things aren't worth saving. so steven bought me some flowers. i managed to place them decoratively in a cup full of water only to have them spill all over the counter. the shelves. the new toaster i got for christmas. so that's it. today's not worth saving. im going to bed with apollo and vanity fair (the book, no witticism there). and lucky steven is on his way to work.

Cliche Christmas

Merry Christmas!



We woke up before dawn because the little boy was awake and crawling all over us. So we got up and opened presents. The presents were all wrapped and sitting under the Christmas tree. Outside it was snowing. Not a mean aggressive snow, but a light snow like you see in the movies, or in snowglobes. Just enough to make everything white. Apollo is wearing his Christmas sweater (see below). We both have the day off and get to spend it all together. So far Christmas has been everything you would think Christmas would be.

presents

i want to open my presents. i think i know what one is. it smells and feels like coffee. which is great cuz i love coffee. and i know what's in another one. a blanket. i know this because i opened it. on accident. it was in birthday wrapping & i forgot that it was for christmas. happy mistake.

play date

apollo is really quite confused. there is this other thing in the house. it is smallish, walks, cries, and takes attention away from apollo. play date number 1 is currently underway. i've laid them both down for a nap. of course neither is sleeping but rather fussing in their designated corners. hopefully they will fall asleep though. and i can get a minute of peace. or at least enough time to sip my cold coffee.

it is kind of wonderful though. seeing how the brain works. luke has interacted with other children before, so he's not new to the game. but apollo is all eyes. apollo actually crawled to me in order to sit on my lap, i imagine for a little reassurance. ironically enough, luke is also the same size as apollo. it makes me feel like my child is severely behind in basic childhood development, and luke is a baby boy wonder. really he is 14 months old. and, albeit a cutey and pretty smart, luke's relatively average.

two & half hours down. seven to go.

Proof

You may be saying, if there isn't video it didn't happen. Well my friends, I swear I am not a liar.

crawl to taxidermy

apollo crawled today. his first. it was really awesome. i wanted to call steven and let him know, but he left his phone at home. so im now letting the world know. we can add "crawl" to "grab, reach, rock back n forth, & sit up." before you know it apollo is going to be into taxidermy.

the check up

apollo had his six month check up yesterday. he is 20 lbs. 27 inches long, and completely normal. he also got some shots, poor guy, but all seems to be well so far.

truoo love.

stress & success

christmas time is a blur of emotions, isn't it? merriment, stress, excitement, anticipation, and giddiness. i mean, presents! yes! who doesn't like presents. there is currently ONE present under the tree with my name on it (in the spot after "to" not "from"). at first i was happy about this, perhaps even merry. but now im slightly stressed. what's in this box? i gotta know. im excited and giddy at what the wrapped box may or may not contain. the anticipation is killing me. come on steven relent!! there's only a couple more days until christmas..or something like that. and i love LOVE decorating for christmas. i don't go crazy, i just like seeing sparkly lights and glitter all over. i wish we could decorate this way all the time. of course, our tree is 2 feet tall (almost) and contains one set of white lights and approximately 20 plastic snowflakes. not my best work, but work that is able to sit on a counter away from apollo. success. and these plastic snowflakes are not a choke hazard. double success.

speaking of success the work in which i get monetary value from is going ok. target, although not the ideal place to work, seems to be relatively undemanding. i think i may have even made a friend. it's too bad that everyone that works at target seems to be from a different town. bozeman is pretty expensive to live in, so most people commute to bozeman for work but live in surrounding little towns. so i have now made a friend, but she lives an hour away. which means, i have still made no bozeman friends. thank goodness i don't have that hour commute though. i'd hate it. i don't know if our trusty old buick would like it either. speaking of buick, our car is close to retirement. so if anyone else is buying a cool brand new car and wants to get rid of their not-so-cool-anymore old car - you know my number.

another update for work- i may/will probably be babysitting as well as working at target. so apollo will have a playmate a few days a week. im really excited but also slightly concerned. Luke, the little boy, is 14 months old. I fear this may open up a whole new set of rules in our house as Luke can probably walk, crawl, and find ways of getting into all sorts of trouble. i guess it's time to baby proof our house. today was supposed to be the first day, but Luke's father didn't have to work today. he's a construction worker, and his boss called off work as the temp is -10 degrees. yikes!

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

Today is Apollo's half birthday. He was constipated to the point of tears and we tried feeding him prunes to which he made a very sour face and stuck out his tongue and spit it out. Happy six monthiversary buddy!

Weekend Out

We've done a lot of Bozeman things this weekend. Friday we went to one of the local coffee shops Wild Joe's and got to see some art and music. One of the guys I work with played violin with keyboard played by Jason Lytle (Lead singer for Grandaddy and Bozeman resident.) It was beautiful music and while they were playing someone was doing live manipulation of video footage which created a very surreal effect. Also a couple of people including the roommate of the guy I work with had paintings hung on the wall. We would have loved to have stayed till they were done playing music but the little man was way too tired. And he kept us up all night. But that's another story.
This morning we ate our breakfast at noon at the Nova Cafe. Jury's still out on the food, but we've been wanting to go there for a long time, and it's a unique Bozeman eatery. Then this evening before Kalina had to work we went downtown where the annual Christmas stroll was happening. They block off Main Street for the evening and let vendors set up shop in the street and all the business have like open house. We saw Alpacas and a live nativity with these tiny little goats and they had horse carriage rides and free hot chocolate and carols. The streets were crowded with people and dogs and strollers and tents. It was pretty cool but we couldn't stay long because it was pretty cold out and Kalina had to work at six. I think it will be even better next year when Apollo may realize how cool it is to see Alpaca on Main Street and go for horse drawn rides.
Between the Christmas Stroll and us now having a fully decorated and lit 2 foot tall tree with stockings and wrapped presents underneath I think I'm now officially in the mood for Christmas. Now if only I got a break several weeks long like I used too...

unpacked

we are completely unpacked and i have to say it feels pretty wonderful. yesterday we got our new montana licenses which mean (drum roll) we are now officially montana residents! yeow! we have yet to get a working stove and our toilet is on the fritz but overall its been a pretty good week so far. and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich i am eating is.. well its ambrosia my friends.

Fathering for the Win!

Now she's done it. Kalina has started working. That means I get what I imagine will eventually be the joy of caring for Apollo all by myself. I say eventually because I've got a lot to learn. For instance, right now I just spent the last 100 minutes or so trying to get him to sleep. Not exactly the quickest its been done. He's still just lying there playing with his giraffe. I've pulled every trick I know, and even invented a few new ones. At least he's not crying. You see, it's not that he's a bad kid - I'm just a noob.
It doesn't help that everything is a death trap now. Apollo is starting to crawl? Any paper, rock, nail or scissors on the floor is his potential end. I laid him down for a nap in his crib earlier today I he managed to get his leg stuck between the rungs. Bed or coffin? Nothing is safe.

Today's Black Friday. Our big purchases? A $25 vacuum that's the quality of a $25 vacuum, 200 pieces of Mega Blocks for the little man and a safe/fun/foam bowling set. Hooray for commerce!

 

blurry picture of apollo in his very own taxi. enjoy.

thanks for nothing.

i'm just kidding. like steven said, "i'm thankful we are not dead." so happy thanksgiving everyone. i hope everyone has enjoyed their gluttonous day.

actually steven, apollo, and i had a pretty wonderful day. we unpacked some packed items, had breakfast, lunch, and supper, and we are now getting ready for bed. i plan on ending my thanksgiving by reading the Bozeman Daily Chronicle and falling asleep to Harry Potter battling some bad wizards and getting out of tights spots. isn't this all fantastic in its spectacular ordinariness?

thanks to my parents and brother for bringing all of our junk to our new apartment. It now looks like we live here. We have our bed and our books, which is all we really need. Apollo has his crib. Now I just have to get him to sleep in it.

mysterious case file#2145: time flies and peanut m&ms disappear

We finally got internet in the home. I feel like I've just skipped a decade. I was in the early 90's you see.. I had a home computer and played solitaire and wrote word documents. But now, NOW! I can communicate like it's 2009! No dial up connection, no cords at all! I give money and get freedom my friends!

On the turn side I have now increased my anxiety...Did someone email me? Better check. No, no email. Maybe a facebook wall post!!! No, not that either. The internet is like a drug. You can't help but want it. And then once you've got it, you wonder what to do with this wonderful high at the tip of your fingers. It's like you can have anything in the world and you can't think of what it is you want most. So you settle for checking your email every 10 minutes and eating m&ms. Before you know it, it's the next day and your bag of m&ms is empty...

Since I haven't posted in a while here's some catch up:

Apollo is sitting on up on his own rump without assistance! Bam! Happy 5th monthiversary buddy.

Belated Happy Birthday to The Steven. He is now in his mid-twenties.

I am attempting to find a job. Lucky me. The only thing worse than looking for jobs, is having to fill out applications. I'm applying for mostly seasonal jobs that have minimum responsibilites and mediocre benefits.
When they ask me
"What skills do you have that make you an ideal candidate for the job?"
I want to respond with
"I'm not a moron."
Lucky, Lucky me.

My parents (The Kim and The Ferlin and The Brett, although The Brett is not my parent) are visiting this weekend. Steven and I have been contemplating where to take them out to eat on Saturday night. We have decided to narrow it down and let them choose either steak or pizza. Both restaurants have original montana flavor. I'll update on the outcome after this weekend.

SNOW!

It has snowed like mad here! Measuring by the snow that accumulated on the top of the electrical box in our front yard, it's probably snowed 18 inches by now, and it's still going. I had a hard time pulling the car out of it's spot on the street, but luckily I managed without even getting a shovel. Things sure are messy though, tree branches have fallen all over. Apollo has been amazed with all the white stuff. He's even been a trooper getting into his snow suit. It's now the first snow, but it sure is a big one.

13 year old self

"i think sometimes i fight to stay my 13 year old self. the one that doesn't realize what she thinks is cool really isn't. i get so down because everyone just wants to fit in. whats so great about fitting in? then everyone is the same. why even exist if you want to be the same as everyone else?

i dont know. i just don't get it. and i kind of hate that people think im the weird one because i like chunky bracelets and cutting my own hair. what the fuck. why does it matter to them? can't we all just express ourselves however we feel we need to? maybe one day every single person will do exactly what they feel they need to do to become more whole within themselves.

i hate having to fight the man just to be myself. it seems it should be the opposite way. it should be weird to copy what everyone else is wearing and thinking and doing. it is if you think about it. but perhaps my view of this only proves my unwillingness to form to societal stereotypes that are pushed upon me.

the saddest part about it is that it is incredibly hard and difficult to find yourself in the first place. we search and search to find out who we are. and once we know, instead of basking in the wonderfulness of it, we put on the sameness outfit, haircut, jewelry, car, home, family, lifestyle, religious beliefs, etc. because if we don't, we are the weird ones."

apollo is teething, it's true. i can see those two little nubs on his bottom gum. this makes for a very cranky, restless sleeping apollo and very tired momma k. so, as i am so exhausted, i copied a message i wrote to a friend and posted it on my blog. sorry no original thoughts for the blog today.

Personal Space

Okay, so overall we really like it here. But there is just this weird sort of problem people have with giving you the proper amount of space.

With elevators especially. It's not that the people here are rude, they are actually pretty considerate like when it comes to letting you cross the street and holding doors open for you. When we have the stroller and need to go to the second floor of the Co-Op or the library, we use the elevator. More than once when the doors will open at our destination people, who incidentally are perfectly capable of using the stairs, will be waiting to enter the elevator. Both of these have only two floors, so anyone in the elevator when it opens is more than likely getting out. But they just stand there directly in front of the door waiting for you to get out. But WE HAVE A STROLLER. You need to step aside in order for us to get out. And we'll say "Excuse Me" unnessicarily and they take a half step back or to the side. Thanks. And they'll stand there and smile at you the whole time they block your path. And you'd think, "Well maybe they just don't realize they are in the way." But it's so obvious that in order for us to get out, they have to move. They are like standing IN the doorway. With 4 people. They aren't upset at you or anything, they just can't figure out why you are not exiting the elevator.

Same sort of thing has happened to us with building entrances where we'll be trying to exit a building with just us, no stroller or anything and just as we are at the doorway, a doublewide stroller pulls up and is trying to get in the building. Only clearly it won't fit in the door. So rather than letting us out quick, it takes 3 people to take one side off the stroller while blocking the doorway. And then try it again, only clearly it still won't fit. So then they take the other side off while blocking the doorway, until finally they can barely squeeze through the doorway the whole time we have politely stood at the exit waiting for them.

Or just now at the library we are sitting at a table and some art is hung all along the wall that we are sitting at. Some lady is looking at the art, standing too close for comfort. Kalina tries to get something out of her bag and the lady is standing so close that Kalina is unable to get in her bag. The lady says excuse me as though we are in her way. She is litterally standing about six inches from our table. This is a pretty open space, and art hangs on the wall opposite us, nothing else there, just art on the wall, and she doesn't even look at those. Same artist, same style photographs, more interesting even in my opinion.

Or yesterday in a store some lady and her daughter have their shopping cart sitting perpendicular to the aisle. We try to get thorough, the lady looks at us, continues shopping. We say excuse me and she continues shopping.

Like I said, it's not that people here are rude, it's just like they don't have this sense of personal space. Which is weird since people don't live in as close of quarters as say people in Chicago. It's nothing short of bizarre.

Mr. What-the-are-you-wearing

Halloween is such a crazy holiday. I was tempted to dress Apollo up as a pink unicorn tonight, but there are so many conflicting thoughts about it I decided not to. Since Apollo is not quite five months old I imagine every door we knocked on would know the candy is really for me, not the little pink unicorn in the stroller. I didn't want to give my neighbors the impression that I am willing to use my child as a means of getting 'the goods,' so that's out.

Also, I'm not sure what dressing a five month old boy in a clearly girl's costume would do to him. Not that I do or don't want my child to dress like a girl, but if I am the one physically responsible for it, does this put a certain unspoken pressure on him? I mean, especially if there are photos. Years from now friends will be looking at this baby pink unicorn pictured next to a fairy and a giant (steven and me but not necessarily in that order). they will know, he will know, that at one time his momma thought it was 'cute' to make in not only a pink imaginary creature, but a pink imaginary creature that just happens to be most girls' favorite animal.

Now I've lost my train of thought. A man in a glittering clown shirt accompanied by an acoustic and a witch playing flute is singing about country montana living. silly silly halloween.

Random Notes

Some things we've noticed about Montana:

1. There are a lot of different license plates
2. They love coffee here
3. They definitely don't like people overusing their wireless internet
4. 2 and 3 combined provides weird situations where a place will offer free coffee refills, but you need a password for the internet which can only be good for a few hours
5. They stick their windshield wipers straight out from the windshield, presumably to keep them from freezing to the the windshield
6. Dogs are pets, not novelties
7. No one knows what a studio apartment is
8. Lots of tattoos
9. No pigeons, one yet to be identified bird is very prevalent instead

UPDATE: They are magpies.

parenting

so, if anyone is curious, having a baby changes your life.

one day you are going where you want to go, eating/sleeping/watching tv/shopping/going on dates at your leisure and the next day - wam! eating now consists of the one handed wonders and a quick meal when the baby is sleeping. shopping is hours long now. apollo, being predictably unpredictable, is either hungry, tired, spits up, or has a blow out on every outing. in my free time i am researching car seat safety and sneaking showers, which is rather uncharacteristic of me as i tend to postpone showering.

on a positive note - i have grown to appreciate my parents on a new level. all the puke and poop they too, had to deal with...

also positive - i have grown to truly love being a momma.

but i am dreading the future - crawling, walking, talking. then talking back, making curfews and rules of all sorts. perhaps the most terrifying thought is that apollo is half me. i can only hope he quells those spontaneous desires and whimsical wants that im sure to pass on to him. perhaps, like most children, he will want to be something different. he will strive to be the opposite of me - he will wear matching clothes and be extraordinarily personable.

Our First Visitor

Last week we ha our first visitor to our apartment. It was after nightfall and I was getting ready to go to work while Kalina was getting ready for bed. There was a knock at our door and since I was the only one not in pajamas I answered. It was was a Police Officer. After formalities he wasted no time in getting to the point.

"Sir, do you have a chicken in your backyard?"

I must pause here and explain that this is not the strangest question I've been asked by law enforcement.

"No. Well, I mean, I saw one earlier."

Apparently, the rooster I saw wandering around our house was not supposed to be there. After explaining that we did not own the whole house and had actually just moved in so we didn't know anyone else, he continued his investigation elsewhere.

Whenever I have an interaction with police officers it turns into a bizarre moment. Other great questions I've been asked include: "Sir, are you running a meth lab?" and "How would you like a $110 early birthday present?" to which I became confused as to the officer's intent and almost replied with "I wouldn't like that very much." Luckily I realized that was his way of letting me off with a warning. (Sidenote: Yes I was speeding. But I had just driven 800 miles straight where the speed limit was 75 mph. I exit onto a 55 mph road, immediately realize I'm going 65, correct this and then get pulled over.)

Anyways, to date the only person to knock on our door has done so just to inquire about a rogue chicken.

Spills and Thrills

week 2 and counting

good and bad things have happened so far in bozeman.
goody goods
- bozeman seems to be pretty sweet.
- we went to the library yesterday and got ourselves library cards. i do believe this establishes us as bozeman residents.
- i haven't gotten lost yet.

the bads
- our kitchen sink drips which creates a little population of unwanted insects in our kitchen.
- i have made no friends. but i have met one of our neighbors. Dan from apt E. of course my nerdy-ness always seems to overwhelm me when i meet new people. so the conversation was very similar to
"Hi. Do you live here?"
"Ya I live in apt E, the apartment next to the mail boxes."
"I live here. too. now."
"I'm Dan. And who is this?"
"This is Apollo. I'm Kalina. You can call me K. Some people do."
"Hi Apollo. How old is he? 4, 5 months?"
"Ya.

um 4 and a half months"

this very boring and painfully slow transaction happens for another few minutes. after which i pick up my broom that i was using to sweep the leaves (don't ask) and saunter inside. the wind picked up after i had this conversation with dan. i stood watching our front yard get covered with leaves. and i realized not only did my attempt at making a new friend fail, but so did my desire to make my yard look respectable.

kalina

Big Sky

Montana's nickname is Big Sky.  I always thought that was kind of silly.  I mean isn't the sky the same everywhere? Who are they to claim that their sky is larger?
One of the first things we noticed when driving to Montana was the large expanse above our heads.  Some of it's hard to explain, all I can say is that it just looks bigger.  But one of the most immediately noticeable differences once we entered Montana and Wyoming was the lack of billboards.   Your eyes were drawn to the sky so that you could notice things that admen tried to hide from you before.
The contrast is especially apparent leaving South Dakota were for 400 miles there are ads for a dinky tourist attraction in a dinky town that has a plastic dinosaur and free water.  Immediately before leaving South Dakota there is a long string of large billboards advertising a casino that have pictures of women who don't work there and things you probably can't do there and then... nothing.  Then there is blue sky and mountains.  And you're able to clear your mind a little bit.
Steven

this place fucking rocks.

"Montana"

We have moved. Within three years we have moved from a city of 3 million people to a town of 30,000. On a recent journey to wish Kristen (steven's sister) luck with a new husband, we met up with some friends we acquired while living in Chicago. When David found out we were moving to Bozeman, MT he nonchalantly asks if I was going to be a dental floss tycoon. Hilarious and witty if I would have recognized it as a Frank Zappa wonder, which I didn't. It wasn't until the next day when another friend broke out in "Montana" that it sunk in. I was moving to Montana, and fate deemed I am to become a dental floss tycoon. So, in order to fulfill my destiny and also give friends and family updates, Steven and I have created a blog.

Kalina